News from Paddington, 2015-09-18

@mildbyte (RSS) on Sept. 18, 2015 (2 years, 8 months ago)

Tags: paddington | writing



"Hi, I've just moved here, do you know of a good place to eat?"
"Well, there's Praed Street nearby. You could go to the Chicken Cottage there. I heard it's re..."
"...ally good?"
"...Yes!"
"Brother!"
"Brother!"

Hello and welcome to the inaugural edition of News from Edgware Road, formerly known as News from Paddington! Yes, in cooperation with Chicken Cottage Consultancy Services, News from Paddington underwent an extensive re-branding programme that involved being renamed to News from Edgware Road and moving just right to the end of Praed Street where it meets Edgware Road, 2 minutes away from Edgware Road Station. More good news include the fact that everything News from Paddington loved about Paddington (Kenneth from M&S on Edgware Road, Chicken Cottage on Praed Street and ChoZen Noodle on Praed Street) is now paradoxically closer than it used to be. News from Edgware Road's commute now takes 28 minutes door-to-door and a new runbook of where and when to change trains is currently being written!

The headquarters of News from Edgware Road could best be described as a room designed by a person who accidentally used the Seven Deadly Sins as a how-to manual:

LUST: Market it as accommodation for students. 20-year old sophomore girls always stay 20 years old.
GLUTTONY: The room should have everything. Cram a fridge, a microwave, a kettle, a kitchen sink, a wardrobe, a bed, some cupboards etc in the same room.
GREED: Make sure there's a lettings agency occupying the first floor of the building.
SLOTH: All bills, including Internet, electricity, water and council tax, shall be included in the rent.
WRATH: Four rooms shall share one bathroom and a shower. This should cause sufficient wrath in the mornings.
ENVY: Look at all these sports cars you don't own!
PRIDE: Base the building as close to Praed Street as possible.

Culinary Adventures with News from Edgware Road!

  • Grilled chicken from Chicken Cottage on Praed Street! It's really-really good!
  • Various ready meals from M&S on Edgware Road: It's okay!
  • A random falafel from a falafel shop in the City: It's really good!

News from Edgware Road had a haircut! It was in Costas Barber Shop on Queensway, but News from Edgware Road wasn't cut by Costa(s?), instead being cut by his apprentice who was being really sad that people that were in front of News from Edgware Road in the queue would not take him and instead wait for Costa(s?) and so News from Edgware Road wanted to take pity on him. Costa(s?)'s(?) apprentice's signature move is smashing the scissors against the comb even when there's no point in doing that. But News from Edgware Road survived and lived to collate another edition of News from Edgware Road!

This edition of News from Edgware Road was sponsored by Chicken Cottage Consultancy Services. "Chicken Cottage Consultancy Services! When chickens come home to roost!"



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